When looking out as an observer, you can easily forget your own humanity. I guess sometimes, it's difficult for me to understand myself. I'm not the best at empathy, sometimes it escapes me and the only emotion I can conger is rage. To be blunt, emotional management isn't my strong suit. I've pressed my emotions deep down into myself for the sake of other people and now I am far too sensitive. I want stunted in my emotional maturity so I feel often that I am just a child when I should be grown. I was mature for my age when I was younger, yet now, I am but glass. Either way, no matter how much work it takes, I have a life I want to live for. I have to be the best me I can be, even if that means I have some bad days. It's nice, my abandonment issues have calmed down, I guess being in a relationship where I actually trust the person helps. Along with that, I don't feel my undeniable paranoia all the time, I can shut up those thoughts much easier.
Handling things is getting easier and I'm excited to continue living, no matter how much work it takes sometimes.
All in all I'm happy. Though I'm stressed about my AP Art portfolio, It's due in 14 days! I'm beyond nervous, I hope I can get it all in on time. :)
But then you give me ten CC's of something super sweet
Yeah, you put me to sleep, I'm getting drowsy
My eyelids are getting heavy, kiss me on the cheek
Then you're telling me count down from ten
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one
When you rip my heart out
Please put it back when you're done
I'm too young for this open-heart surgery
There's stuffing in the place where my heart's meant to be
Why me? (I thought about this song again, I'm obsessed)
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