I was a young girl, a virgin, and therefore men denied me rationality just as they denied it to all those who were not exactly like themselves, in all their unreason.

 I guess I've never been too good at socializing. But, being in school again reminds me that my social skills are poor. I worry too much, I know I do.

 

       I worry about losing friends, I worry about people who don't like me, I worry about grades, I worry if my teachers even tolerate me, I worry if my art is even worth looking at, I worry if I'm in love with my own friends.

I wonder sometimes if I'm good enough to have nice things. I wonder why people are even still friends with someone as annoying as me. Do I even deserve the life I live, what good have I even done?

I sound ridiculous, I know I do.

Look at me, I'm a depressed teenager who is too wrapped up in their own mind. This is a small part of life, and I know eventually it'll all be different. I know one day I won't resent my parents or I won't even wonder if my friends even value me. Someday, I'll look at all of this and think I'm real stupid. Everyone tells me my feelings are valid, but I feel I just sound stupid.

            I guess all I want is to be happy in some form, I want to be free of my worries and depression. I want to live in a lavender feild, my only thoughts being the bees and the smell of spring. 

                                                                                                    But that's just a daydream

The killer awoke before dawn
He put his boots on
He took a face from the ancient gallery
And he walked on down the hall
He went into the room where his sister lived, and then he
Paid a visit to his brother, and then he
He walked on down the hall, and
And he came to a door
And he looked inside
"Father?" "Yes, son?" "I want to kill you"
"Mother? I want to..."

 

“I feel like I know her but sometimes my arms bend back.”